


If There's a Will, There's a Wave

by Ratgirl1221



Category: Animaniacs
Genre: Slappy has a potty mouth, Slight Drowning, Swimming, not angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28041258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ratgirl1221/pseuds/Ratgirl1221
Summary: An accident on set launches Yakko head first into the ocean. He's fine, but it's blatantly obvious swimming lessons are in order.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 134





	1. Making a Splash

**Author's Note:**

> First fic sorry if it sucks :p i've never written for like... an actual cartoon. Only anime. Characters might be ooc, there might also be typos.

Accidents on set weren’t completely foreign to the Warners, or anyone on the lot for that matter. Back in the 90’s there was plenty of the GoodFeathers flying into windows, Buttons spraining his leg. Little things like that. Easily remedied, with the exception of Wakko chipping a tooth on a supposedly ‘edible’ prop he was supposed to eat. In fact they took more breaks to Slappy letting a curse slip out than they did to injuries.

Today was fine too, now in 2020. Aside from that cameo most of the others retired, leaving Pinky and the Brain and the Warners to film season two. The plot was obscured to the three siblings who weren’t ever really sure what they were doing until the episode was complete. The director wanted everything to be real, authentic, and that meant having no idea what was going on aside from some rehearsed songs an a couple scripted zingers. This was some sort of pirate themed episode being filmed on the Pacific Coast, in a sweltering day fully dressed in pirate garb.

“As if having black fur wasn’t bad enough.” Dot whined, fanning herself with her pink hat. The barrel she was sitting on shook with every motion. Yakko was leaning against the mast of their ship, watching it carefully but playing it off cool.

“We’re gettin’ there sibs.” He assured them, even though Dot was the only one complaining. Wakko was having the time of his life going through the barrels and eating their contents. “Its an eight minute episode and we’ve been here three hours. The director’s gonna get heatstroke before we stay another hour.”

“I heard that Warner.” The director snapped walking onto set. His pale blue shirt was soaked with sweat, face red and tired. He looked like a younger version of Thaddeus Plotz, short and squat with a foul attitude. “We’re almost done. Hold it together. Next scene is a cannon ball fight. Don’t get hit is your priority. Think you can handle that, smartass?”

“Better than your deodorant is handling your stench.” Yakko smirked, standing up from the wall and slapping his own hat on over his ears. “Old Spice just isn’t working for you buddy.” The man growled, grabbing Wakko by his tail to yank him out of a wood barrel of apples, before tossing him onto the ground. Yakko’s eyes narrowed, but Wakko was unphased, landing on his feet.

“Get into positions.” The director barked, before climbing off the side of the ship. He lost his grip and fell back first onto the dock, before rolling over grumbling. There was joke to be made about it, but frankly the three were tired, as well as their opponent ‘Black Beard’ who was on a different ship. With no argument they went back to the places they had been before the break. Dot at the wheel, Wakko manning the sails, and Yakko in the crow’s nest at the very top of the ship.

“All right!” The director yelled for everyone to hear, as he limped across the dock with an arm against his back. “Action!”

“I want those three shot down no matter what it takes!” Black Beard screamed at his doofus lackey. “Fire! Poke holes in the sails! I don’t care!” He roared, pointing at the ship.

“I’ve got the sinking feeling he may not like us very much.” Yakko stated, as Wakko on the ground pulled out an eyeglass and looked through the wrong end.

“Nah, he’s miles away! He’ll never reach us.”

“Ya sure Sherlock?” Dot asked, flipping the eyeglass around. Wakko blinked, the shot cutting to Black Beard looking at him an inch away through the other side.

“This thing must be broken. Now all I can see is an eye.” The pirate grabbed the back of Wakko’s blue doublet and yanked him off the ground with his hook hand, jostling his typical red hat over his eyes. “Beardy!” He announced, pulling it back into place. “Have you used one of these before? I think mine’s broken.”

“Give me that!” The man hissed, snatching it out of Wakko’s hand. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

“Not normally.” Wakko shrugged, tongue sticking from his mouth.

“Hey, Beardy,” Dot called, somehow having sneaked the eyeglass from his hand, and holding a debit card in the other. “What’re the last three numbers on this card? They’re all faded.”

“Oh, that’s 82- Hey! Give that back!” He barked, tossing Wakko as he was scripted to and raising his arms to catch Dot. She gasped, throwing the card and the eyeglass into the ocean behind her.

“What a shiny clothes hanger!” She exclaimed, hands clasped in front of her, before hanging a dress on the end of his hook. “Very convenient.” BlackBeard lifted his hook to his face stupefied before screaming and flailing his arms in the typical “I’ve had enough’ manner.

“That’s it! Fire the cannons!”

“Aye Aye Cap’n!” The lackey saluted from his other ship. Alright, it was easy to see where this was going. Captain BlackBeard was on the Warners ship so he would get hit by his own cannon ball and be defeated.

The shot was fired, barely missing the actor. It broke a hole through the wood surface, right by his feet.

“Are these real?!” He yelped breaking character. Dot and Wakko ran back to him to look down the hole as well. It had gone all the way through. Their ship was literally sinking.

“That’s not right… Yakko!” Dot yelled up to her brother still in the Crow’s Nest. He was supposed to be pretend navigating their map but he didn’t have very many lines in this segment. The oldest had been watching, of course, in case they did cut to him. “Yakko come down!”

“Cut!” The director yelled, further proving something was wrong. Yakko swung his leg over the edge to slide down the mast, when he heard another explosion. A cannon ball aimed super high smashed into the mast he was currently perched on.

“Woa- Not good!” Yakko announced as the whole thing began to tip backwards. Someone on the crew screamed, but he was hyper focused on trying to get down before the whole thing collapsed. Funnily enough, being thirty feet in the air didn’t really give him enough time to do that, before the massive beam fell back into the ocean with him on it, sinking instantly under the weight.

“Oh my god!” Dot screamed, throwing her hat off because it was too damn hot. “Someone help him!”

“He can’t swim!” Wakko clarified to their squat little director. “He’s going to drown!”

“Move, move, move! Yeesh!” A flash of gray dashed by them, pushing the director on his ass before they saw a splash.

Yakko was clawing at the water, salt stinging his eyes. His chest hurt, and the surface was getting farther rather than closer. What was the deal with swimming? Why did slapping your limbs in the water one way work better than the other? Why couldn’t he figure it out? Oh boy, people were going to love season two. Three episodes, and a 6 minute one that ended with Yakko drowning. What a twist! Stupid, idiot director.

In the midst of panicking and also being overall bitter about the situation, but turning mostly to panic, Yakko caught sight of a shadow in the water. A shark? He couldn’t just drown? Squinting in the darkening depths he noted that whatever this was, it had a furry tail and grabbed a hold of his arm in a bone crushing grip. Yakko unintentionally squeaked, losing a good majority of the air he didn’t have, as whatever began to swim to the surface. His savior tightened their grip even more and thrust him upward so his head breached the water. The teen sucked in a wet breath before sinking again, but the thing that saved him had already closed the distance and tucked him under their arm. Yakko gripped handfuls of fur as they came up past the water again, this time floating. Yakko took this opportunity to hack up salty liquid, his long ears flopped over his face and drenched.

“Ya gonna live there kid?” And he knew that voice. In the midst of trying not to die, he squinted the salt out of his eyes to see Slappy Squirrel. Her green hat somehow made the dive without falling off, the flower comically wilted from the water.

“W-Well I’m not hot anymore.” Yakko coughed. Slappy snorted, not really a laugh but not really annoyed either before swimming them back to set. She unceremoniously dumped Yakko on the dock with a splat, where Dot and Wakko eagerly sprinted to his side to help him up.

“What idiot is in charge here?” The old squirrel demanded. Her fur and her skin was sagging off her body like a wet sheet. The director timidly walked up to her wringing his hands. “I ain’t talking about you shortstack! The CEO! Where’s the new CEO I’ve been hearing so mucha about?” When no one answered she slapped the top of the director’s bald head like a bongo. “ _Well?!_ ”

“Ms. Squirrel, the CEO wasn’t really involved in this. The real cannon balls were my mistake. There must’ve been a problem with the shipment.” The short man admitted, nervously. Slappy scoffed at him, ready to say something demeaning when a woman appeared with Ralph the security guard. She was tall, pointy nosed, and immediately snobbish looking. “Oh, the CEO. She’s here.”

“What is going on here!” The woman demanded, heels stomping across the soggy wood of the dock. Ralph scuttled by her with a towel in hand to the Warners.

“That’s what I wanna know!” Slappy growled. “You’re the new CEO?”

“Nora Rita Norita.” She introduced herself as curtly as possible, glaring down over her glasses. “John,” She turned her glare to the director, and pointed a long nail in Slappy’s direction ”What is this thing?”

“Uh, well,-” John was interrupted as the toon used his head as an arm rest.

“Slappy Squirrel, not pleased to make your acquaintance.” She muttered, flicking water from fingertips onto Nora’s business suit.

“Oh boy, Slappy’s gonna get arrested again.” Wakko mumbled, from where he was sitting on the dock. Yakko, towel around his neck, went to intervene.

“Ehhh, Slappy, it’s okay. I’m alrigh-”

“Does it look like I’m talking to you soggy?” She snapped, bonking him on the head with her fist. To be honest he should’ve known better. “Go home!” Yakko clutched his head and glanced tiredly to John. He nodded mouthing: _‘Good work today, kids.’_

Dot and Wakko ran up to join their older brother, giving one last glance behind them to what would probably be tomorrow’s headline. “ _Yakko Warner Nearly Drowns, as Slappy Squirrel Arrested for Assaulting CEO_ ” Frankly none of them wanted to be around for it and retreating to the water tower was a gift.

Slappy watched them leave, arms crossed, before pointing a finger into Nora’s chest. Joh took this chance to escape as well.

“Listen here you hack of a burlesque show, you’re damn lucky I was feeling nostalgic or your fancy new reboot would’ve ended faster than Wiley Coyote’s career after he got caught for that murder!” Nora slapped the accusing finger away, and rolled her eyes.

“What do you want me to do? Give you a gold star for most helpful washout?” She sneered, leaning into the squirrel’s face. Slappy grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her down even more. “Ow! Why are you so strong?! Unhand me or I’ll call the authorities.”

“Y’know you remind me of a penny. Two-faced and barely worth anything. Look, when you took Plotz’s place you became the Warner brats legal guardians. Do you see where I’m going with this?” Slappy asked, letting go of Nora’s hair. The woman straightened, rubbing her head.

“Not even remotely. Get to the point, I’m a busy woman.”

“Tch. Fine I’ll make it simple. Ya gotta ensure those kids don’t drown on your fucking set. Yes, they’re toons, they’re mostly durable, not invincible. They breathe, they feel, they hurt like you. And Yakko doesn’t do a whole lotta breathing under water. I’m sayin’ as their guardian you gotta teach ‘em to swim.” Nora’s head piece beeped indicating an incoming call. She tapped the button on the side.

“Please hold, I’m in a meeting.” Putting the call on hold the woman knelt down again, this time to laugh in Slappy’s face.

“Are you kidding me? Do you think I have time to give the kiddies lessons? Why didn’t Plotz do it huh? Why don’t you do it?” She cackled, adjusting the glasses on her nose. “Huh? Tell me, I’m dying to know.”

“What kinda budget did you think we had in the 90’s?” Slappy exclaimed gesturing to the ship half submerged in the ocean now. “You think we could afford a whole ship like this back then? There wasn’t any need to go sailing out on the real ocean when you could fake it. But god forbid, now we have high quality!” Slappy gestured ambiguously with her hands as she paced a circle around the CEO who was looking more bored by the minute. “1080p in HD, vectorized animation, high quality cameras. A cheap little dinky set doesn’t work for this stupid age! As for me, squirrels ain’t great swimmers.” Nora focused back in on the last sentence as crossed her arms.

“You swam just fine.”

“Why do ya think I’m the one raising Skippy and not my sister?”

“You had a sister?”

“Yeah. Sinky. You can imagine how well that turned out.” Slappy lied, never having a sister. “ I’m too old to be flopping around in the ocean now. I’ll go into cardiac arrest. You want a tragedy on this lot, fine. I don’t really give a rat’s ass one way or another. I’m retired. But if you have a semblance of a heart under those fake Madonna boobs of yours, you won’t take the risk!” The old squirrel spat, as the other frowned.

“You really do have a foul mouth. Ugh, fine, I’ll look into instructors. Will you go away now?”

“Finally! I knew you had enough smarts to understand _Miss CEO_. Lookin’ forward to what you come up with.” Slappy gave a cockeyed smile, feeling triumphant. “Now I can take my nap.” And with that she stomped off the dock leaving Nora Rita Norita with a call on hold, a destroyed ship, and a lot of stress.


	2. Organized Drowning, AKA Swimming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chapter where Nora Rita Norita is absolutely insane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know how to properly indent the second chapter. Oh well

Yakko was not surprised to have caught a cold, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t miserable and milking it.

“Dot, Dot, I’m fading away!” He called from the couch, tucked up in his green robe. “Dot I need tea or I’ll _DIE_.”

“I’m gonna kill you myself if you don’t shut up!” He heard her yell back from one of the other rooms in the tower. A clink on the table caught his attention. Wakko set a cup of tea down for him.

“Dot, Wakko’s my favorite today!” He yelled again, reaching out to pat his younger brother on the head. “Thanks Wak.” Yakko lifted his cup to drink but had a sneeze sneak up on him at the same time, and ended up dumping it over himself. Yakko snorted, annoyed and wiped his face off with his sleeve.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Wakko asked, taking the pink teacup. “You’ve been sick for like two days.”

“It’s just a cold.” The other assured him, sitting up properly so his brother could sit next to him. “Drowning’ll do that to you I guess.”

“Don’t joke about that.” Dot growled, entering the room. She was holding her own cup of tea for Yakko, and a whole package of cookies for all three of them. “Wasn’t it scary?”

“Scary? Uhh, I guess.” Yakko tapped his chin in thought, his other arm going over Dot’s shoulders when she hopped on the couch.

To be honest after Slappy dropped him on the ground and he stopped choking to death, he was just tired. Being in the water itself kind of felt mindless. “I think I was more mad than scared.” He shrugged, going to sip his drink. The door to the water tower slammed open, startling all three of them. Yakko fumbled with the cup, this time spilling it on his lap.

“Oh come on!” He barked, glaring at whoever was at the door. That glare faltered two seconds in. Nora Rita Norita was dressed in a one piece swimsuit, huffing and panting from the climb up their ‘home’.

“Ms. Norita. Hi?” Wakko grabbed a cookie from the package in Dot’s hand.

“Listen you little freaks!” She hissed, bracing herself on the doorway before catching her breath. “That old squirrel guilted me into being a good role model and I have a meeting at three. We’re leaving now!”

“Uh, sure. Where are we going?” Had this been Thaddeus Plotz, the Warners would’ve been climbing all over him by now. However they’d discovered Nora was more of a Looney Toon than Bugs Bunny, and they didn’t necessarily want to mess with her.

“Swimming!” Nora screeched, clapping her hands. “Come on! Move, move, get dressed! I had to postpone an interview for this! Get a move on! You’re learning how to swim if it kills you!”

“Isn’t the term usually ‘If it kills me”?” Dot asked. Nora grabbed her by her cheeks and lifted her off the couch.

“I know how to swim. Get your tailed butt in a bathing suit this instant. We don’t have time for quips!” Well there wasn’t much more to do than oblige. They did have swimsuits for episodes that required them, luckily. Dots pink frilled bikini, Yakko’s orange trunks, and Wakko with a gender neutral one piece, in a shade of gray. Nora all but threw them off the water tower veranda before sliding down herself like a crazed fireman and leaping into her car. The kids quickly followed suit, feeling more like they were being kidnapped than being taught a swimming lesson. The very second they buckled in Nora took off at 60 miles an hour in her beat up Chrysler, and immediately started ranting.

“I can’t believe I have to do this. This is ridiculous. How is every swimming coach unavailable? That old hag. Sinky Squirrel. I can’t believe I fell for such an obvious lie.” Nora passed someone with right of way, and screamed out her window when they honked at her. “Augh this is the worst! Why didn’t anyone teach you how to swim?” She demanded, adjusting her front mirror. The kids, huddled together in the back seat fearing a car accident, realized she was actually talking to them this time. Yakko, nose stuffy but somehow running at the same time swiped his arm under it.

“Uh, no one wanted to.” He said, but it was phrased more like a question.

“You know how to ride a bike, write, read and a slew of other things. You couldn’t learn swimming?”

“Yakko learned all that stuff by himself and taught us.” Dot informed matter of factly, puffing her chest out in pride. Yakko wasn’t nearly as confident.

“Yeah, swimming wasn’t something I could really _dive_ into. Haha. Get it.” Nora’s wild eyed craziness calmed down the slightest bit. She peeked a glance at the road and then to the kids in the back seat.

“Learning all of those things by yourself is commendable… I guess if it means you won’t drown, this won’t be completely wasted time.”

“Gee. Thanks-” Yakko’s sarcasm was cut off by yet more insane driving. Wakko squeaked and smashed the lock on his door down, just in case it flew off.

“We’re going to die before we get there.”

They did not die before they got there, and that was a miracle. Nora stepped out of her car and slammed her door, hand on her hip. The Warners stumbled out of the car, motion sick and petrified. Wakko’s tail was between his legs as he shakily stood, Dot fell to her knees in relief that she was on the ground again and Yakko was trying his best not to puke.

“We’re here!” The CEO announced, as if they weren’t already out of the car. ‘ _Here_ ’ wasn’t a very good indicator on where they actually were. It just looked like a warehouse.

“Where is here exactly?”

“The community pool that closed. It still has water in it and it’s free. Let’s go, we have to be back by three.” She ordered, stomping ahead. The Warners all gave each other an exhausted look. Trespassing wasn‘t a new concept to them, but it felt wrong doing it with the CEO. Even so, dragging their feet, they followed her. The locked door was roundhouse kicked blasting it off it’s hinges. This woman was completely deranged.

Nora led them through a hallway to two large, thankfully unlocked doors that led to the pool. She blindly flicked the light switch, forcing old fluorescents into action. The pool water was a beautiful shade of emerald.

“Um… it’s green.” Wakko informed, tongue out as he pointed to the water.

“It’s an abandoned pool. What do you want from me?” Nora huffed, pushing her glasses up her nose. The woman turned, strutting to a container disguised as a bench. Everything echoed unnervingly here, so the slam off the bench lid was thunderous. Nora threw three battered life jackets onto the floor, before slamming the lid back down just as deafeningly. Yakko sneezed into his elbow and sighed, trudging over to grab them. The sooner they were done the better, so he was just going to go along with whatever Nora wanted. She wasn’t fun to mess with, and it was hot and dirty here. Not to mention they had a horrifying car ride back home.

“Yakko, I don’t wanna do this.” Dot pouted, gently tugging on the hem of his shorts.

“Me neither sis, but the sooner we’re done the sooner we can go to bed. Arms up.” Her ears drooped, but she knew he was right. She t-posed, letting him finagle the life vest on, and strap it tight. At least he knew they definitely weren’t going to drown. Helping Wakko and then getting his own vest situated, Yakko coughed into his fist.

“Are you sick?” Nora asked, eyebrow raised.

“Yeah.”

“Get in the water.” Alright, she apparently didn’t care that he was sick. The water looked less than inviting.

“Wakko don’t get any of it in your mouth.” Yakko warned, before tentatively stepping onto the stairs and into the water. It was freezing. His tail frizzled the second he touched it, and everything in his body begged him not to go in. But Nora was watching with narrowed eyes, and lord help them if she missed her meeting at 3. Holding his breath the oldest Warner quickly stomped down the steps, hands balled into fists the further he went. He reached the floor when the water was waist level.

“We’re not going to the deep end are we?” Dot asked, dipping a toe in the water and having a very similar reaction. Waist level on Yakko was shoulder level for her, and life vest or not, not being able to touch the bottom was scary.

“Theres no need. This is deep enough to swim in.” Nora shrugged, sitting on the edge of the pool and sliding in, rather than use the stairs. She stone faced the absolutely frigid temperatures, even when Wakko cannonballed into the pool, washing his sister in as well. They both surfaced with a yelp.

“It’s cold!” Wakko complained, shivering. Nora, irritated but restraining fury, wiped soggy chocolate hair out of the way of water drop covered glasses.

“You’ll live.” Once they were adjusted to the temperature, Nora did teach them the basics to swimming. It was her mean, demeaning way, but she still taught them patiently. Showing them how to float on their backs. Spreading out Dot’s arm’s while keeping a hand on her back, before she was doing it on her own. Having them hold their breath and go under the water (As much as one could with a life jacket) to get used to it. Holding Wakko’s arms to guide him while he figured out proper kicking without splashing. The backstroke, the doggy paddle, the front stroke. Soon enough the Warners were swimming on their own. Slow and not great, but enough to move forward which was the goal. And then for the final test. Taking the life jackets off, and making it across the shallow end of the pool. Nora demonstrated like an athlete, tearing through the water like a dolphin to one end before coming back.

“Obviously I don’t expect you to be as good as me. No one can, honestly. Make it to the end and back, if you start to drown you have to walk over here and start over.” She declared, leaning against the grimy tile wall of the pool.

“What if this takes too long?” Yakko asked, unbuckling Dot’s jacket and taking it off her. She immediately took the opportunity to lay on her back and successfully floated. Wakko, tail wagging, yanked his off over his head somehow and did the same thing. They both managed to get back to their feet giggling at the accomplishment happily. “Don’t you have a meeting?”

“Don’t take long then.” The woman suggested, crossing one leg over the other. “You more or less know what you’re doing.” She waved him off. “It’s not like I haven’t been watching. Alright, get a move on. Swim. You literally can’t drown unless you’re an idiot.” Yakko’s shoulders slumped, turning away from the woman. However where his siblings had been behind him, they were now halfway across the pool doggy paddling, tails sticking up out of the water. They were doing totally fine. Actually, they looked like they were having fun now. He wanted to have fun too!

Alright, stagnant water. It’s not like this was the ocean and he was being crushed by a 300 pound beam of wood and waves. Taking a deep breath, Yakko got himself into the same position he had been practicing for an hour now. Hands cupped, not spread. That was mistake one in the ocean. One hand in front of the other, not at the same time. Feet always kicking. He was tired, and felt icky, but Dot and Wakko passing him on their way back spurred him further. Yakko’s hand reached the other end of the pool. Blinking he grabbed it and looked behind himself. He _swam_ here. He was swimming! All of them were! Still in disbelief he swam back to the other side, slowly but with no problems.

“Congratulations, you made it in under ten minutes. Now get out, we have to be back to the lot soon.” Nora pulled herself out of the pool, green water dripping off her maroon suit. They never brought towels. Ugh.

“We did it!” Wakko announced, bouncing his way to the stairs. “We can swim now!” Hopping onto the tile he shook himself like a dog, not to much advantage. His fur was still dripping wet but he didn’t care. Dot followed him out, arms outstretched so she didn’t slip in the water. Yakko was the last, mostly making sure his sibs didn’t fall back in or anything, but also because he was so amazed he could swim now. And it was kind of fun, even given the horrible circumstances in a disgusting pool.

“If you’re quick enough we have enough time to go to McDonald’s.” Nora stated, pointing to a bar covered clock on the wall.

“McDonald’s!” Wakko’s voice reverberated off the walls and water, as he full on sprinted to the car. “I wanna Big Mac, and fries, and nuggets, and-” His voice faded as he made it outside. The other two cheered, and followed right behind him, Yakko no longer concerned about swimming or being sick, or soaked at all. Nora heaved a heavy sigh as they vanished into the California heat.

“Are you happy you old Squirrel? I’m their guardian and I taught them how to swim.” She muttered to herself. “I don’t even like McDonald’s. What did these kids do to me?” Nora flicked off the lights before returning to her Chrysler where the Warners were already buckled in and bouncing. They had forgotten what a terrible driver the CEO was. It was the scariest trip to a drive-thru they’d ever experience.


End file.
